Sunday, February 26, 2012

Happy 21!!

Matt had an excellent vacation in Florida with Joanie and her grandparents. Happy Birthday!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MATT!!!!


Can it really be 21?! Hope it's the best year yet!
Love from all the Blackwells :) XOXO

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Happy Birthday, Dad

I found this when I was looking for photos for Matt's birthday 21 photo salute. Good times! So many different looks through the years. Could it really be 84? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Thoughts on Loss

For all the family -
I have been wanting to respond to the thoughtful and supportive emails that have come in about Chris and Duke and I had in mind just what I wanted to post, but it has taken until now for me to figure out how to do it on the new Apple.  I wanted to share some thoughts on loss from my time perspective.  Loss is part of being human - we can't escape it, but loss has many faces.  The immediate is hard, emotionally draining, and terribly frustrating and sad, but later I have found the face changes, includes sparkling wrinkles, and is more friendly with interesting twists.  Speaking from my own experiences of loss I'd like to reflect on my reactions and the faces of loss they have presented.  Losing my first dog in a car accident in front of the house was my first confrontation with loss.  The immediate trauma for a 13 year old  was overwhelming, but over the years some of the memories of Tippy have brought smiles to me and remind me how good those  five years had been with my first pet.  Many times when I walk across the tan oriental rug I think of his Christmas arrival when he peed several times  on the almost new rug and the reactions of  those present - rushing to get a rag, smirking, laughing, grabbing the pup and getting sprayed on - a whole panorama of human reaction that revealed a bit about each family member - insights that I would never had gained without Tippy.   Similarly Dad's death was hard although anticipated for several years  Feelings of release for Dad were combined with the huge gap left.  Yet now what makes me think of him most often are crumbs under the table.  In Petersburg in my senior year I was eating huge amounts at dinner after track practice. Everyone would finish and wait and wait for me to catch up.  Mother finally changed the dinner rules and let dessert be served to  others while I finished.  They were then excused while I had dessert.    The maid would leave when the dishes were done and before cleaning the dining room and doing mine.   The result was that Dad would wait while I ate dessert and then took over her job of running the carpet sweeper under the table to clean up the crumbs.  I saw him in an entirely different light, and it set a model for me I deeply appreciate.  It is a very fond memory of a shift in the family routine and tradition showing flexibility on the part of both of my parents and a response to my personal needs.  It is a face of loss not appreciated at the moment but one that comes with time as the always present loss reveals lessons, memories, and insights not learned or appreciated at the time or in the hours of daily living until the loss has occurred.

You all have posted photos to help with your current losses.  I want to add these three.  Recalling Duke on the sofa and at the shore will bring many smiles over the years ahead as will has enjoyment of jumping the sea wall.  The first photo of Chris and family was taken at the races when we first met the boys.  We didn't do a lot together but this was a special event that first let us see the way Ken dealt with his boys and how Elli was finding a way into that combination.  It provides warm feelings when I recall that day.  The other photo of Chris and family at the pool comes to mind when I think of Chris - the  young teenager.  I remember the day so well.  That is the image I carry of him and the face of loss is overwhelming - the loss of the young.  Yet as the years go by, these images will begin to reveal other faces of Chris and smiles will come.  I am so glad we had the opportunity to know him a bit.
Enough philosophy for now, but it is good to be able to share my feelings with family.  Love to you all.  Dad

Monday, February 13, 2012

Monday, February 6, 2012

Love That Dog

I just finished reading that book to my class as part of our poetry unit, and I always choke up at the end. Wow! I'm so grateful to have this blog as a way to be in touch with my far-flung family. People may have lots of negative things to say about how the digital age has made people less personally connected, but the last few posts have made me feel so connected to my sisters and their families. I'm wiping the tears away as I remember Otis drawing his last breath in my arms when the Blackwells were here for Thanksgiving, and I'm trying not to imagine what it would be like to outlive one of my children.  Long Live the Blog! Here's to hoping we'll be sharing some more happy news soon.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Loss

So sorry to hear about Duke.  It's so hard to loose a family member.  He is still with you, and always will be.



I've been wanting to post a few photos of Chris and his family for ages, and this news has spurred me into action. 

This photo was taken on our back deck when Summa was one month old



Alana and Chris with Summa



Ken with Chris, 2007

Chris with his two children, Luke and Summa, 2010



Our last photo of Chris, taken on his 33rd birthday, 21 December, 2011. All 4 of Ken's children are in this photo...


Chris's children taken on the day of his funeral



 
 At the wake
 








 
Ken and his granddaughter

Thinking of you all.  Hold on to those you love, and cherish your memories.  Lots of love from Ken, Elli, Rachael, Emily and Chai

He's still with us!

This is what Sarah, Drew, and I saw when we returned from a walk this afternoon! :)
Check out the first picture in my To Duke entry,.....

To Duke!






Thank, Dukie! We love you! May angels lead you in,.....

Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Book for all Seasons

   I am reading an amazing book (thanks to Drew and Julie, as I found it in their living room over Christmas). It is called "The Soul of Money" by Lynne Twist, and it describes some things we can change in very powerful ways---I see it as a natural follow-up to my Beyond War involvement. It's in paperback, and in libraries. If you don't read it, you may find it under your Christmas tree ( ala "Cry the Beloved Country" and "Mr. Ives's Christmas"! Go for it!   Mom, Mum, Ann